When I pretended to leave last spring, I thought that it was Diesel and my time committed to its service that contributed to my burnout—in actuality it was the very essence that was keeping me (and has kept me) spiritually alive through this MA experience—
I don’t think it’s a secret that my fire’s been a little less flaming since I moved here but you all held me no matter the mood and supported me no matter the goal. I can’t even begin to imagine how many tears helped wash the dishes.
Or how much anger helped smash the cardboard.
Or how much compassion served a goddamn sandwich.
I’m leaving Boston with a degree that I have a hard and disconnected relationship with—but I leave feeling nourished with a deep gratitude for the following moments:
That time Ariel asked me to use less enthusiasm with the diesel card discount.
That time Chuckie drew a sun with a sharpie on an electric yellow t-shirt to help me celebrate spring.
That time dad broke the sign when we played capture the flag.
That time I broke the sign taking the trash out too enthusiaticlly.
Those (many times) when JB used to barback on Wednesdays like an octamom
That time Caitlin called and I thought she wanted clams.
That time Lane gave me a llama for my drama.
That time (after spring cleaning) (when the tablet broke) and I got to do the food line between Jen and Tucker and felt like a superstar.
That time I had the worst seven minutes of life because the diesel machine broke and we ran out of coffee twice.
That time Brooke left the first time and we made friendship bracelets.
That time Squid, Will, Marie and I had a super enthusiastic close to Rent.
Every time squad helped me finish a paper.
Every time squad said happy groundhogs day.
Every time squad made me feel loved when I felt unloveable.
I guess this is my love letter.